these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
my liver is dry heaving
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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