Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize