OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize