Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He did a backflip because drugs
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
