I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
