come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
