you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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