i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
