so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
