6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
