I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
