so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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