Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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(586): View more from Michigan

The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now

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(248): View more from Michigan

your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?

(303): View more from Colorado

How about from a sixth floor window?

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