Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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