Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
