Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
