Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize