so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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