Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
