who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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