I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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