i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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