Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize