You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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