He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
