ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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