Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
