okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
