My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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