Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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