we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
