Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
