Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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