i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
