I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
