i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
