So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
