Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize