Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize