I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
