Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
