when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
