bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
