It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
