she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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