My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
