If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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