Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
