I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize