her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
A bitchslap is in order.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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