The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
