Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
