I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
