dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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