I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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