Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize