i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm passing your future prison.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
