The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize