Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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