At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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