okay pat passed out under dana's car
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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