Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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