y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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